June 2011
3 posts
WAHAHA!
wahahawattson:
NAHH THAT’S JUST MY SWEAT, BULKIN UP MY PEENER. WAHAHAH.
YOU KNOW, THAT’S REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL, I DIDN’T KNOW CORPSES COULD HAVE FEELINGS.
WELL NOW I JUST FEEL BAD. MAYBE I COULD OFFER YOU MY PENIS, BUT I’D PROBABLY BREAK YOU, EVEN THOUGH THAT’S QUITE A FEAT IN AND OF ITSELF.
OH SORRY ABOUT THE MESS. LET ME JUST THIS UP WITH ALL THE SHITS I GIVE ABOUT YOU. DON’T WORRY. IT’S...
WAHAHA!
wahahawattson:
OH NIGGA, I CAN’T BELIEVE YO DUMBASS IS STILL ALIVE. I ALMOST CRIED FROM TEARS OF HAPPINESS.
I GUESS WE CAN’T ALL HAVE OUR DICK AND EAT IT TOO.
OH THAT’S RIGHT YOU NEVER GOT ANY.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WOW. YOUR LIFE.
AT LEAST I HAVE TWENTY MINUTES OF MEMORY STORAGE. YOU’VE GOT SO MUCH DANK STANK IN YOUR...
1 tag
WAHAHA!
wahahawattson:
I’M BACK FROM MY TEMPORARY COMA
WAHAHA!
/shoves the decrepit body of Agatha off of him/
I FEEL REGENERATED!
~YOUTHFUL EVEN~!
LET ME SHOCK THE WORLD WITH MY ENERGY~!
Yeah I wonder why
inquiring minds that don’t actually forget who the fuck they are at every twenty minute interval
oh wait
probably because you finally tapped out the oily mines of your dicksickle
...
April 2011
11 posts
Oh, Arceus.
flashyfire:
cougarsayswhat:
flashyfire:
cougarsayswhat:
flashyfire:
Old people sex is so gross.
… Ew…
You don’t even know the half of it, kid.
I think some skin flaked off…..shit.
Siiiiiigh, more for the collection box. Maybe we can actually get a decent clone this time, and not that cookie fucking bitch Bertrim or Donna or whatever the fuck her name is.
… Bertha?
Yeah,...
Oh, Arceus.
flashyfire:
cougarsayswhat:
flashyfire:
Old people sex is so gross.
… Ew…
You don’t even know the half of it, kid.
I think some skin flaked off…..shit.
Siiiiiigh, more for the collection box. Maybe we can actually get a decent clone this time, and not that cookie fucking bitch Bertrim or Donna or whatever the fuck her name is.
Oh, Arceus.
flashyfire:
Old people sex is so gross.
letsgetquizzical asked: Oh, hello Agatha...
I see Wattson has taken an intrest in your...saggy goods.
Tell him I said I'm happy he's found someone, since obviously he doesn't want to take the messages I sent to him
I see Wattson has taken an intrest in your...saggy goods.
Tell him I said I'm happy he's found someone, since obviously he doesn't want to take the messages I sent to him
Literally in fucking tears of hysteria. I cannot....
wahahawattson:
I THINK YOU’RE JUST SAUCY OVER THE FACT THAT I HIT A NERVE.
MAYBE SEVERAL.
HM.
HM.
UH, MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO.
MAYBE I WON’T MOVE.
MAYBE I’M SICK OF HANDLING YOUR SHIT.
MAYBE IT’S TIME TO TASTE YOUR OWN SHIT. /gets closer, spit sprays on face/
TIME.
TO.
TASTE.
HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO CONSIDER THAT YOUR MOBILE TROPICAL FORESTS MIGHT BE THE REASON WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU?...
Literally in fucking tears of hysteria. I cannot....
wahahawattson:
OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY PRETTY PENIS/wheezingly, staggeringly stands up/
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. /throws against a wall/
HERE I AM, BELITTLING EVERY LAST GOD DAMN PIECE OF SELF ESTEEM I HAVE LEFT JUST TO SOMEHOW MAKE FUCKING BLAINE’S DISAPPEARANCE A RIGHTEOUS ACT. HE LEFT ME TO WALLOW IN MY OWN HATRED AND LONELINESS, AND NO ONE EVER EVEN TRIED TO OFFER THEIR SYMPATHY. I AM FUCKING...
I might vomit just warning you. Oh god.
wahahawattson:
…………
You know what. Maybe you’re right.
I probably deserve these things you speak so strongly of.
I did, after-all drive him away.
I think maybe being humble is a lot better than being the “old” me.
(…Although I’m already pledging allegiance to my brother Lorenzo, for when he burns the world to the ground with his eyes..)
Ohhhhhhhh my titty anal fucking...
I might vomit just warning you. Oh god.
wahahawattson:
Y……y-you really think I can be a better person w-without him? /He wipes his nose with his hand/
Agatha…thank you. Even though you’re possibly the most disgusting person I’ve ever met, I want to repay you. You could punch my peen, if you still want to. I…I think it’s big enough to take a hit.
There is no ‘better’ for you; once a piece of hot elephant shit, always a...
I might vomit just warning you. Oh god.
wahahawattson:
YOU WOULD BE HONORED TO EVEN GET A GLIMPSE OF ~ALL THIS~ IN MY PRECIOUS TUBE TOP.
Agatha. I’ve lost my laughter. My body doesn’t have the ability to happily give a belly laugh. I’ve lost the wa-ha-ha.
I’m a wreck without love.
Remember when I said I couldn’t cry? I’m cumming really close to doing so, you fat fucking fuck. I am going to vomit out my remaining ovary...
I might vomit just warning you. Oh god.
wahahawattson:
YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND. YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE THAT.
He left because he finally realized I wasn’t good enough for him. That he deserved better..
And then I realized something too.
I’ll never find another lover quite like him ever again. I’ll probably die a lonely and miserable mess, because he is never coming back. I cannot even be angry with him for...
I've just realised, it's april fools day
rocketbossgiovanni:
Oh fucking fuck.
March 2011
20 posts
Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be here this...
rocketbossgiovanni:
No… I really wouldn’t even want to consider attempting to try. Now, please, this is starting to become physically painful, I’m getting an inverse boner and that would really fuck up my plans.
Though the fact you have to chain them down says more to me than anything else… No willing guests? Thought not.
No… Just… No. Don’t make me sick into my own scorn.
…
Can’t I just...
Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be here this...
rocketbossgiovanni:
Self-service doesn’t count Aggie… And even then I really don’t want such a horrific image in my head. There are some mental pictures even my mighty loins are rendered inert by.
Oh, and we really shouldn’t be talking about who looks like a wrinkly turd here… People in glass houses Aggie.
And as for that matter, my ‘pipes’ are just fine. Although, come to think of it, with...
Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be here this...
rocketbossgiovanni:
Look. Just because it’s been a good few centuries since you’ve had a damn good servicing, doesn’t mean you have to tar the rest of us with that same brush.
In actuality, I am getting it daily, nightly and ever so rightly… And can there really be any doubt? I mean look at me, I LOOK MARVELOUS…
Hate to piss on your parade
oh wait haaaaaaaaah I love that
but my last...
Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be here this...
rocketbossgiovanni:
cougarsayswhat:
rocketbossgiovanni:
cougarsayswhat:
Pussy Destroying convention?
…
Accurate.
In more ways than one.
And by pussy destroying
I mean plowing the asshole of your cat thing
Some things never change. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Get a half conscious hooker like us normal fuckers
Oh, fuck off.
I am, I’m sure you’ll be just thrilled to know, getting a slew...
1 tag
Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be here this...
rocketbossgiovanni:
cougarsayswhat:
Pussy Destroying convention?
…
Accurate.
In more ways than one.
And by pussy destroying
I mean plowing the asshole of your cat thing
Some things never change. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Get a half conscious hooker like us normal fuckers
1 tag
Well, I'm glad I'm not going to be here this...
Pussy Destroying convention?
2 tags
I might vomit just warning you. Oh god.
wahahawattson:
I JUST MISS HIM OKAY.
/sobbing, weeping mess/ I MISS FEELING LOVED AND CHERISHED BY SOMEONE. OH GOD, THE PASSION. WHAT WE HAD WAS SOMETHING YOU COULD ONLY EVER DREAM OF. BUT NOW, NOW I HAVE A GAPING, ICY HOLE IN MY HEART THAT ONLY ONE FIRE CAN SATISFY.
DON’T BE JEALOUS OF THE LOVE THAT ONCE WAS.
/sniffles/
I’m sorry, my frozen ovaries can’t seem to get over the...
ashketchumwins:
cougarsayswhat:
…………..
Hi brat. Clearly someone doesn’t know the meaning of subtle big sword not referring to dicks references. My surprise, it is m.i.a.
Awh c’mon you wouldn’t really hit me with that sword! I bet you just have it to look scary but you don’t scare me at all! Um.. what’s that supposed to mean?
I’ve done more than just ‘hit’ someone with...
Negl
hikaridiamondpearl:
Agatha terrifies me.
I... I just...
wahahawattson:
/in a shaky voice/ Well. Of all the people to finally communicate with me, it’s you.
Of course. That is just my luck nowadays.
/he begins to cry/
It…it’s true… None of you do care.
Oh my fucking god stop your blubbering! You’re a grown ass fucking man, apparently though I have my goddamn suspicions you’re really a twelve year old raper, you’ve somehow made...
I... I just...
wahahawattson:
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried reasoning with myself that he’s gone.. but I just can’t come to terms with reality.
I’ve even ventured into the wild of Hoenn, looking for some kind of distraction. I was lost for a whole month. But alas, even after I’ve returned, no one seems to care.
I’m starting to think I’ve lost my laughter forever.
Maybe…
I’m losing my friends...
fightingbruno-deactivated201104 asked: IS IT IMMORAL TO TROLL THE ASK OF A DEAD PERSON?
MAYBE BUT I'LL DO IT ANYWAY
SUP AGGY
MAYBE BUT I'LL DO IT ANYWAY
SUP AGGY
You think if I scratch this enough it'll turn into...
teammagmalewis:
cougarsayswhat:
teammagmalewis:
cougarsayswhat:
Your tiny balls?
Fuck, I hope so.
Wowah….I just got burned.
NO MORE FREE VODKA FROM ME NOW.
-brush my shoulders off- As always, its a pleasure. I fucking love my job
WHAT?! BUT YOU OWE ME YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU’D BETTER PAY UP OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SCROTUM
Are you EVER nice…? I know it’s hypocritial coming from me but…
I...
You think if I scratch this enough it'll turn into...
teammagmalewis:
cougarsayswhat:
Your tiny balls?
Fuck, I hope so.
Wowah….I just got burned.
NO MORE FREE VODKA FROM ME NOW.
-brush my shoulders off- As always, its a pleasure. I fucking love my job
WHAT?! BUT YOU OWE ME YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU’D BETTER PAY UP OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SCROTUM
You think if I scratch this enough it'll turn into...
Your tiny balls?
Fuck, I hope so.
You little shits sure are slacking with this fan...
Back in my day, I would get bagfulls of death threats, boxes of bombs, hell, even a warhead one cold winters day when the nextdoor neighbor was found frozen to death on the toilet. One of those rare ‘not my goddamn fault’ deaths. It was big news.
You know what it’s down to nowadays?
A dead rat in my mailbox and a box of laxatives.
Really? Really? Go back to school and learn...
February 2011
27 posts
Stimulate your nipples.
hikaridiamondpearl:
Kenny…
What kind of gift isn't physical...?
petrelly:
-crosses his arms and thinks-
………….
Non physical gifts exist?!
Stop speaking nonsense, boy. That’s just a legend as old as fucking time. and me
teammagmalewis:
cougarsayswhat replied to your post: -Snaps wrist-
………..Are your bones as brittle as mine or something? *brittle bone fist bump* Drink milk. And whiskey. Together. It helps, trust me.
Can I replace milk with vodka.
There’s this special way to water down the milk with vodka, ancient technique.
I’ve yet to find out the real way to do it without get shitfaced drunk...
I just fucking choked on my own fucking spit
teammagmalewis:
ALL I DID WAS SWALLOW THEN BAM. IM GASPING FOR BREATH.
That’s what happens when you swallow, dumbass.
Scary ass choke factor. If you spit, it ups your chances for survival by about eighty percent. Unless you get it in the eye then all bets are off.
Oh love is just blooming all over the place isn't...
rocketbossgiovanni:
Oh, how naive you all are.
Oh yeah, until a fresh batch of herpes blooms in all the right places.
God, I almost…..l-l-love. Those moments.
Hey guys hey guys hey
teammagmalewis:
cougarsayswhat:
teammagmalewis:
I found a bottle top opener thingy, no more forever twisting at the caps of my vodka for 4 hours straight.
You mean you can’t pop it off with your teeth like a real badass?
Tsk, tsk.
Even more badass: I can do it with my nipples.
Probably why they fall off so many times but eh. We do what we gotta do in order to get the opportunity to...
Hey guys hey guys hey
teammagmalewis:
I found a bottle top opener thingy, no more forever twisting at the caps of my vodka for 4 hours straight.
You mean you can’t pop it off with your teeth like a real badass?
Tsk, tsk.
Even more badass: I can do it with my nipples.
Probably why they fall off so many times but eh. We do what we gotta do in order to get the opportunity to molest adorable doctors.
put a “8===D” in my inbox and i’ll tell you something that turns me on.
put a “<3” and i’ll tell you about someone i care about, without any names.
put a “):” and i’ll tell you something i dislike about myself.
put a “(:” and i’ll tell you something i like about myself.
put a “</3” and i’ll tell you a story that broke me.
Anonymous asked: HI BILL'S ANON HERE
BE HIS VALENTINE?
BE HIS VALENTINE?
petrel- asked: Can you teach me how to be more.. manly and assertive.
My chest itchs like a bitch
teammagmalewis:
I’ve scratched at it so much feels like my nipples been sliced open…and I think I’ve given myself a rash.
You’re all gay by the way.
Prematurely dropping nipples is a very serious disease you little fucker. Oh wait, you meant an open wound…..nevermind then.
There’s a damn good cream for that sort of shit but I hate you so I’m not going to share and revel in...
rocketbossgiovanni:
cougarsayswhat:
rocketbossgiovanni:
cougarsayswhat:
Looks suspiciously like that damn stingy ass nude beach I seize- er, vacationed at last year.
…
Suddenly reconsidering things.
Got a problem with my hot, smooth…ish, lotion drenched skin, asshole? Whatever, you can’t handle a piece of this.
Believe me, I wouldn’t even want to try.
Yeah, you wish. I...